The Season of Blindness

I have been known to be a planner by the people in my life. In the past, asking me where my career was headed, or the grand plans I had to buy a car or a home would have yielded immediate answers, “In five years, I will be at level X in my career”, “By the end of this year I will have saved up to buy a new car.” This is not me anymore.

What changed?

God came and interrupted my life.

I realize that sounds overly spiritual coming from a normal person just trying to make their way in this life, but this is exactly what is happening to me in this moment. I made a decision a few weeks ago to start a fast, and now at day 17 of 21, it is quite clear to me that my life, as I had planned it is about to change.

I had all these grand plans of what my life would become, and how I would achieve these plans, but God has made it clear that things will not unfold as I had thought. I am learning to trust God through the blindness, even when I cannot see the end. Even when I cannot see beyond a step in front of me. He is calling me to be still before him in these troubled times.

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth”.

Psalm 46:10

I may not even hold the job I now have at the end of the year, and that’s okay. I may not even be relying on the skills and expertise that I have developed over my career this time next year, and that’s okay. He has me in his hands, and he will work it out, for his glory.

“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still”

Exodus 14:14

And so in this season of blindness, where I cannot see what comes next, I choose to trust Him. He who formed me in my mothers womb, and has a grand plan for my life and this earth will bring it to fruition. I choose to trust, and to stand in the gap for anyone who is like me. Anyone who cannot see what comes next. Anyone whose life has been turned upside down by COVID 19 and all the challenges that it has brought. I will be here praying for you in this season of blindness, and God will cross us over to the other side.

An encouragement note….

My hope and prayer for all who read this post today is that you will remember:

You are precious and you are loved.

Even when times are tough and there seems to be no end to the trouble in sight, someone is watching over you, and he will carry you through.

So be encouraged and take heart. God has got you, and he is not about to let go.

And when times are tough, he will send little reminders like this one to let you know that he loves you with an everlasting love.

He loves you now, he has always loved you, and he will always love you.

When God comes through for you

And David encouraged himself in the Lord (1 Samuel 30:6)

Sometimes life hands you a bad day that only you can understand. I had one such day today. To give a little background, words carry a lot of weight in my life. I am the type of person who is likely to remember an offhand word that was said to me for many months (or years) after it was spoken. Now this is normally a good thing when positive words are spoken. When the words are negative. Probably not so much.

Back to my story. Here I was prepping for an important client meeting in the afternoon, of which my manager was to give important feedback and additional information on before the meeting. We had agreed on having a call earlier in the day so that by the time we got to the afternoon meeting, I would be ready with all the answers to the potential questions the client would have. As fate would have it, my manager was not in the country so we needed to connect via internet and this was the one day that all internet systems were offline. This meant that all the pre-reads I had prepared for my manager earlier on went undelivered and unread, and by the time we managed to connect and have the call, everyone was frustrated and very few positive things were said.

So here I was, about to go face my client, literally feeling like David with two stones in my hand. Only that, unlike David, my spirit had already been crushed by the conversation with my boss and if I had my way, I would have cancelled that meeting and gone home to nurse my wounds. Unfortunately, I couldn’t come up with a legitimately acceptable excuse to cancel the meeting half an hour before and so on I went, with a sinking heart and legs feeling like lead.

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As I was about to walk in God reminded me of something I had read during my devotional the night before. Reading the story of how the Israelites were delivered from Egypt, God had reassured Moses that he would be with him and that the Israelites would believe him when he told them that God spoke to him through the burning bush. And that was my reassurance, God would be with me. Someway, somehow he would get me through. And he did. All the questions the client asked, I was able to answer and together we built a solution that would meet their needs.

Isn’t God amazing? Sometimes all he needs is for us to be there as willing vessels and he will do the rest.

I’ve learned that sometimes we just need to encourage ourselves in the Lord like David did and he will give wisdom and strength to get through seemingly impossible situations.

A Tribute to my King

Time seems to stand still,
As I take a moment to feel,
The peace that comes from doing your will,
And reward for keeping it real.

You created me,
Out of dust and ashes you molded me,
And now I can see,
How you want things to be.

Candles

I lay my life in your hand,
Like a little grain of sand,
As you lead me to the promised land,
On your promises I will forever stand.

I thank you for all my blessings,
For your warmth love and good tidings,
In your house I’ll always be praising,
As I follow and you keep on leading!

Psalms 107:1
Give thanks to the Lord for he is good;
His love endures forever

The Beautiful Exchange

What a beautiful exchange
His beauty for our ashes
His hope for our fear
His joy for our sadness
He gave his awesome amazing grace.

He took us
Broken, bruised and crushed
And covered us with his righteousness
A bruised reed he shall not break.

What shall we say then?
If God is for us? Who can be against us?
By his power, we shall overcome!

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The Tattered Bible

I once found myself wondering why anyone would keep a tattered bible.

Don’t get me wrong, as one who tries to maintain a bible reading habit, I have my own beloved bible that is more than a decade old. It’s just that I like well maintained things. If my bible was to significantly tear, I would most likely get it repaired or store it for use on special occasions only.

One of my great aunts has such a bible. There is nothing special about the workmanship of that particular bible. It is basically a bible you would find in any bookstore. I have been tempted on several occasions to replace it but something in me always said no.

So I dug a little deeper.

It took me a few days to figure out why that bible means so much to her. On its pages, there are notes next to passages that guide her. There are tear stains on psalms she read when she was going through difficult times in her life. There are creases and tears on pages she has read over and over, wisdom she shared with us over the years. There are names next to verses she prays over her loved ones. In short, those are the pages of her life. The words on those pages have been her solace, her protection, her hope and her joy.

Wouldn’t it be great if our bibles were the pages of our lives?

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Storms Afloat

Things don’t always go as expected,
Too many issues unattended,
That have us at a dead end,
With nowhere to turn to

Sometimes it feels the struggle is too much,
Never seen trials as such,
It seems the price is too much,
For a simple soul to pay

hope

Often mistakes are made,
And heavenly joy starts to fade,
But I’m reminded under your grace’s shade,
I’m not perfect, just forgiven

When the world laughs at me,
Deriding and pitying what they see,
I know that your love has set me free,
And in you I will become all I’m meant to be!

Jeremiah 29:11
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you
a hope and a future.”

Move Forward

Sometimes the world is against you,
Its hard to keep to what is true,
You end up feeling sad and blue,
Without a clue to what to do.

Behind every dark veil,
Making it seem like you will fail,
Lies a truth strong but frail,
That reminds you that you will prevail.

Face the hurt, move from the past,
Cherish sweet memories that will last,
Wipe the tears, mount your mast,
Your fears inside, away from you cast.

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Lift up your face,
Experience God’s healing grace,
Feel forgiveness’ warm embrace,
Let him show you how to be a true ace.

Talk to Jesus,
He is right here with us,
Letting him in is a definite plus,
He will make you strong and courageous.

Amazing is what you are,
Release the pain and care,
Look forth and see what lies in your future,
You are destined to excel and go far.

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For those God foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his son, that he might be the first born among many brothers.
And those he predestined, he also called. Those he called, he also justified. Those he justified, he also glorified.
What then shall we say in response to this?
If God is for us, who can be against us?

Romans 8:29-31

If emotions had a color

If emotions had a color
Sometimes they would be yellow
Bright and radiant
Sunny and cheerful

If emotions had a color
Sometimes they would be grey
Hopeless and lethargic
Sluggish and lazy

If emotions had a color
Sometimes they would be white
Pure and innocent
Lovely and serene

What color are my emotions today?
Perhaps black or even grey
Either way I choose to be happy!

Be happy

Some Days

Some days I feel small
Too weak to walk
Then I stop and wait
And you lift my cares and fears.

Some days I feel alone
Without a friend to hold
Then you pull me in from the cold
And remind me I belong in your fold.

Some days I feel tired
Without a thing to keep me inspired
Then you embrace my dreams and desire
And you keep me constantly on fire.

Some days I feel afraid
Without someone to come to my aid
Then you sift through my anger, confusion and strife
And pick up the broken pieces of my life.

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Psalms 61:2
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

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